i am being paranoid again. actually, i am afraid – afraid to lose him for the nth time. i know i shouldn’t worry. i know i shouldn’t fear. he assured me many times that his mind and heart will always and only be for me. but i can’t help it!
just today, he sent me an sms that some girl gave him a load so they can be textmates. he doesn’t know the girl, but the girl knows him and sees him in person. well, it looks like he just got another fan out there.
this has happened many times, even when we first started our relationship. and looking at the history, he has not courted those girls and has not built a “more-than-just-friends” relationship with them. but why am i so paranoid?
it’s because we are thousand miles away. this is one of the reasons why i broke up with him before. i don’t want all these fears, all these worries. but what can i do? i love him, and i can’t stand against my feelings anymore. another reason is because no matter what happens to the world, no matter how good a guy he is, he is still a guy. as a forumer once posted, “once a guy, always a cheater”, but i don’t want to think of him as such. i have faith in him and i know he loves me.
and why are there girls out there who keeps on flirting with men, even if they know they are already taken? can’t they put themselves into the guy’s girlfriend’s shoes? the nerve of those girls!
